From Feeling Sh*t to Feeling Human Again — A Personal Way Back

There was a time in my life when I couldn’t feel anything good — not a spark, not a glimmer, not a single memory of a moment where life felt right. And I’m not exaggerating.

I’d crumble on the floor, quietly, privately, because life inside felt unbearable. Outside, I played the part of “Cloughie” — the one people expected. Inside, I was lost.

So when I talk about feeling low, stuck, depressed, anxious or frightened — I’m not talking from a textbook. I’m talking from my own bloody shoes.

And I also know the way back.

Not through overthinking.
Not through analysing.
Not through spending months rehashing the story.

But through reconnecting with the parts of you that have always been there — waiting patiently for you to look their way again.

This article is a personal one.
Not because I’m telling you my story, but because I want to help you write yours.

Why Talking Doesn’t Usually Change Anything

Talking helps you understand your situation.
It does not always change your situation.

Because we talk from our conscious mind — the part with opinions, reasoning, and explanations. But our emotional patterns were created by the unconscious mind.

The unconscious mind is not logical.
It is protective.
And sometimes it protects us in the most unhelpful ways imaginable.

So to change how we feel, we need to talk in the unconscious mind’s language:

  • imagery

  • emotion

  • memory

  • metaphor

  • imagination

That’s where things shift.

The First Step: Remember Who You Are

One day, when I felt my absolute worst, I sat in the garden with a piece of paper. I wrote “My Qualities” in the middle.

And… nothing came.

Not one quality.

That’s how low my self-esteem had fallen.

So I wrote the one thing I could still do:

“I’m breathing.”

And that simple sentence cracked something open.

Because if I can breathe, I can learn.
If I can learn, I can teach.
If I can teach, I can help.
If I can help, I can make a difference.

And within half an hour, the page was full.

Not with ego — with truth.

This exercise is powerful.
It reconnects you to your identity.
It reminds you who you’ve always been.

Do it.
Even if you feel you have “nothing” to write.
Especially then.

The Second Step: Choose How You Want to Feel

This is where people get stuck.
If you’ve been feeling a particular way for years, how on earth do you choose a different feeling?

That’s why you imagine it.

Because imagination bypasses resistance.
It bypasses fear.
It bypasses the part of you that says, “This isn’t realistic.”

Close your eyes and imagine:

If everything felt right, how would I feel?
Safe?
Calm?
Strong?
Capable?
Balanced?
Certain?
Connected?

There is no wrong answer.

Whatever appears is allowed.

The Third Step: The Feeling in the Middle

You can’t jump from “I feel terrible” to “I feel brilliant.”
Your system won’t allow it.

But you can go from “I feel terrible” to “I feel a bit more steady.”
And from “steady” to “OK.”
And from “OK” to “comfortable.”
And from “comfortable” to “confident.”

This middle feeling is the bridge.

It’s where change begins.

The Fourth Step: Find the Memory

Think of that middle feeling.
Then ask:

“When have I felt this before?”

Your unconscious mind will answer — immediately, quietly, without effort.

It may be a tiny memory.
A forgotten moment.
A small success.
An ordinary afternoon.

But it is proof.
Proof that your system already knows this feeling.

And that means you can feel it again.

The Fifth Step: Put It Into Your Future

Imagine stepping into the situation that usually triggers the old feeling…

…but carrying this new feeling with you.

See yourself moving differently.
Breathing differently.
Thinking differently.

And your unconscious will start rewiring the entire emotional response.

Not years from now.
Not with massive struggle.

But gently.
Naturally.
Organically.

The Real Message

You are not stuck.
You are not broken.
You are not beyond change.

You simply need a way back into yourself.

This process works because it speaks the unconscious mind’s language — the only part of you that can actually change emotional patterns.

It changed me.
It has changed countless others.
And it can change you.

But only if you give it a few minutes of real attention.

You’re worth that.

 

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