Keeping Negative Emotions at Bay – How to Turn Anger into Growth

Let me take you behind the curtain. I’d just finished recording an episode I was really proud of. Everything flowed, the words came easily, I felt on fire. And then… silence. The mic wasn’t switched on. Hours of work gone in an instant.

I’ll be honest — I lost it. I shouted, swore at the mic (as if it was the mic’s fault), and called myself stupid. And that’s the thing: anger is often the first emotion, but it’s rarely the real one. When I dug deeper, I found frustration. Beneath that? Guilt. And beneath that? Limiting beliefs like “I’m a failure. I don’t deserve this. I’m not good enough.”

That was the real issue. Not the mic. Not the recording. It was the story I was telling myself underneath.

Here’s the process I used — and you can too:

  1. Notice what happened. Something triggered you. Write it down.

  2. Spot the surface emotion. Anger? Frustration? Irritation?

  3. Go deeper. Ask: “What’s underneath that? And what’s under that?” Until you hit a belief about yourself.

  4. Identify the learning. What’s the takeaway that, if you really absorbed it, would stop this pattern happening again?

  5. Reframe the future. Visualise yourself handling the situation differently, with calm, confidence, and clarity.

For me, the big lesson was: go back to basics. Slow down. Breathe. Set my intention. Check the mic. And guess what? Once I learned that, the anger disappeared. I felt lighter, clearer, and more confident that next time, I’d get it right.

Here’s the thing: negative emotions aren’t bad. They’re simply signals. If we pause and listen, they can help us uncover the beliefs that hold us back. And once we learn, those emotions lose their power.

So next time you feel yourself boiling over, stop and ask: What’s this really about? What can I learn here?

I go much deeper into this in the full episode of Personal Development Unplugged. Have a listen, and let’s keep those negative emotions at bay — together.

Check out episode #461 Keeping Negative Emotions At Bay

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