Stop Letting Yourself Down: The Power of Living by Your Values

Most of us are brilliant at showing up for others.
We bend over backwards for our friends, rearrange our lives for our families, and sacrifice our time just to prove that we can be counted on. And that’s a beautiful thing — being dependable is a value worth celebrating.

But here’s the uncomfortable truth: if you’re always accountable to everyone else and rarely accountable to yourself, you’re letting yourself down. And when you let yourself down, eventually, you let others down too.

The Team of One: You

Think about it. You’d show up for your gym buddy, wouldn’t you? You’d never ditch a friend in need. Even that family member you sometimes clash with — if they really needed you, you’d be there.

But what about your team of one? The most important person in this equation — you.

If you’re not looking after yourself, if you’re not showing up for your own needs and goals, you’re giving people around you a watered-down version of yourself. They deserve more — and so do you.

Why Your Values Matter

So how do you make sure you’re not letting yourself down?
It comes back to one simple but powerful thing: knowing your values.

Your values are the foundation of your identity. They’re the compass that keeps you aligned with who you really are. When you live in harmony with them, you feel stronger, more authentic, and more fulfilled. And guess what? Everyone around you benefits too.

I’ll share mine:

  • Trustworthiness

  • Loyalty

  • Truthfulness

Those are the rocks I’ve chosen to build on. If I stray from them, I feel it. If I honour them, life feels richer.

What about you? Do you know your top three?

A Simple Exercise to Discover Your Values

Here’s a quick way to uncover your core values:

  1. Grab a piece of paper.

  2. Ask yourself: What’s really important to me in life?

  3. Write down at least 7–10 answers. Don’t overthink it — just let them flow.

  4. Once you’ve got your list, imagine you can only keep one. Which one leaps off the page at you? That’s your #1.

  5. Cross it off the list and repeat the process until you have your top three values.

Now look at those three. Do they support you? Do they feel like a rock-solid foundation you could live by? If yes — you’ve found your compass.

The Ripple Effect

When you honour your values, you stop letting yourself down.
And when you stop letting yourself down, you naturally become stronger, happier, and more dependable for others.

It’s like the old saying: you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Well, you can’t truly be accountable to others if you’re not first accountable to yourself.

So take five minutes today. Find your values. Write them down. Keep them close. Because when you know who you are, you unlock the best version of yourself — for you, and for everyone around you.

✦ Want more? Subscribe to the Personal Development Unplugged podcast for more musings like this.

✦ Ready to go deeper? Check out my Six Steps to Supreme Inner Confidence program at paulcloughonline.com/confidence

Shine

Paul

Tags: , ,